Archive for April, 2010


Ain’t that life?

Blerg.

So it’s been a solid 12 hours since I wrote my last bit, but I’m back.  I need to vent about the way that colleges play with poor college students emotions.

So, as a simple graduate requirement here you are required to take a course at some point in May.  Only two of which actually take place in the region.  All of the others want to ship you off to some remote locale.  It’s supposed to build character or something, and actually is somewhat appealing and exciting sounding.  The only problem with this seemingly flawless plan you may ask?

Well, when May rolls around there is very little of your years financial aid left, even for high need students like myself.  I mean it’s only logical I would want to use it during the year, but you can’t find me any extra?  No?  Just asking. I also need to find a way to pay for summer school, as is the plight of a transfer to a school with a mentally challenged registrar (not that she is actually mentally challenged, just in my encounters with her, she read the college catalogue in 1965, when she first started, and has yet to re-read it.  I mean everything is still the same as in 1965, right?  I love going to the Nickelodeon (That was still real in 1965 right?)).

There is also another problem.  My school is really bad at communication.  They like to think they are really good at it.  They’re all like, I sent an e-mail to you about this like 15 minutes ago and told you, you had to be here.  15 minutes isn’t a whole hell of a lot of time for me to check my e-mail and make it somewhere.

So, I have to go on this trip, and I looked through my available options, and I was like.  Hmm.  India sounds interesting. So I’m gonna go to India.  I don’t know if you’ve ever left the country, but there are a lot of expenses required to get that going.

So I’m going to India, and I have to pay everything for the school, because there is not a lot that they want to pay themselves.  So I’ve been working on getting this paid all semester.  They were like you owe amount X, and over the course of the semester, I gradually paid them amount X.  This is where that whole communication thing comes in.

I paid them amount X.  Then about a week ago, they send my mother a bill saying, Hey you know that you still owe, amount Y correct?  My mother contacts me and says, why the hell do we owe them amount Y?  Now my understanding was that once I paid everything, then everything would be paid.  Not once I paid everything, then I owed them something else. That does not make sense to me.

So I thought on it.  Realizing that I had applied for a travel grant, there had been communication issues, and I needed to resolve them because this money that I had given up on could cover amount Y.  So communication issues: I submitted the application, explaining that I did not have a GPA because I was transfer.  The told me, that is absolutely fine.  I receive a letter in the mail about 2 weeks later informing me that because I don’t have a GPA I am completely ineligible for this award.  Wait a second…?

So I talk to them at the beginning of the semester, and they inform me that I can appeal it since they said that shouldn’t affect my money receiving ability.  So I appeal it.  In February.  Come mid April, I had still heard nothing so I politely inquire into the situation, and am informed that they forgot about, and they should be able to get a decision by Wednesday.  Okay…

Wednesday comes, and I am denied a transcript request because I was charged amount Y a week ago, and it hasn’t been paid.  Who really has $725 to just pass out while they’re in college.  I sure as hell don’t. But I need this transcript so I can take classes this summer, because we offer like 3 summer classes, which are all uniquely useless to me(and which are the only ones you can take if you want summer financial aid, which I am apparently eligible for, really college?  Thanks).

So I talk to the Business office. Turns out that the money went straight to spending money, despite the fact that I said I needed it to cover amount Y.  Useless.  Why do I even try to communicate?

So after being informed that I had $690 in spending money, I’m find out that they messed up and that is actually not my spending money.

Thanks for getting my hopes up College.

Learn to communicate.

On a separate, but related note, they informed that my mother was sent a $1030 check in January.  I never received the fruits of this check.  According to her, she didn’t either.  They claim it was deposited.  But not in her bank account.   What are you talking about school?  I want my $1030!!

So.

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile.  I’ve been reading blogs, and I’ve been thinking a lot. (Not Alot, which is actually what started this.)  I’m thinking of this as more of a journal of my life, but I guess I didn’t make it “private” to searches so it’s out there for anybody to read.

It is 3AM.  I need to go to bed, and yet here I am.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, like I said earlier, and I don’t know how to get it out any other way.  Welcome to the 21st century.   I once tried to keep a journal on paper and I felt like a complete moron before I even finished the first days worth of stuff.  At least this way, if I feel like a moron, I can delete it and the words won’t be etched onto the next page.

I guess I should write about what’s been on my mind lately. That’s why I’m here, right?

So.  There are …roughly… three characters this story. Or three main characters I guess. More will pop up.  It’s inevitable. I’m not that good at story-telling. It’s been a problem since childhood.  My mother (the English teacher) would ask what a book was about and instead of a roughly paragraph length synopsis I would expound for about 20 minutes.  I realize now she was probably only being nice and pretending to listen while creating a to-do list for the year in her head, but I could never master the summary.  My friends mock me asking if just about every story I tell comes in paperback, but summary, like many things, was not a talent I was gifted with.

That (^) right there.  That is a wonderful example of what I was talking about.

The story:

Time is an extremely fluid concept for a college student when mid-March hits.  Time for college students it extremely non-Newtonian. It’s solid when you want it to move, and fluid when you want it to stand still.  Not that I want it stand still.  I just realize that finals are fast approaching and all of my senior friends will be leaving me.  Again.  Also, studying is one habit I was never very good at it either.  The list of things I’m not good at it is extremely lengthy.

To summarize the last paragraph the events in the story won’t be highly time oriented mainly because a lot has happened, I don’t remember the exact order, or even when it all actually happened.

2 things:

1) Boyfriend:  Boyfriend lives far away.  Not like across the country.  Just across the state.  I’m not currently in Texas, so across the state isn’t really as far as it could be, but it is still annoying. Now I really like boyfriend, and he is fully aware of this.  But we have our tiffs.  Which are annoying when you can’t immediately resolve them with sex. Not that sex is the answer to everything but it does help to just let everything go.  Anyway.  Not the point.  We had a tiff recently, when I was on a trip down there.  Near the end of the tiff, he said he needed time to think, and that it would probably be best for me to just head home.  Early.  Not that I don’t want to respect his wishes, but I had to work to make time, and I told everyone I was leaving, and then suddenly, I’m going to be back.  And not with him.

Blerg.

So I drove home early.

I spent the time at home in bed.  Lame.  At the culmination of his thinking he informed me of two things.  1) He doesn’t want to end this relationship, and 2) He will eventually hurt me.

Now I don’t want to seem like a moron, so here I would like to clarify.  There is very little down time for grief in my life.  So I told Boyfriend that at the moment I didn’t want to lose him, and that I didn’t have time to mourn the relationship.  This means that he is still boyfriend, but there is a serious scare to the relationship.

2) Roommate:  There comes another time in mid-March as well, in the lives of the students here, where we get excited.  Planning starts for next year, this includes: room selection(including roommates), course selection, and summer planning.  As a rising senior, I was greatly thrilled to have a low number for room selection.  And I knew just what room I wanted. I had been excitedly talking about it for about 3 weeks before room selection even came up.  My next step was to pick who was living with me. I was getting a great room, so the real thing was who didn’t want to live with me.  Well.  Secretly all of my friends were graduating or pairing off without me.  Rude.  But I knew one person I could count on no matter what. Suite-mate.  Who quickly became roommate, and we were super excited. I quickly realized one major flaw with this scenario. Roommate was not actually going to be here next semester.  As much as Roommate wanted to say that would be happening.  This meant that I needed to find a new roommate, which put me back at that square where I realized that everyone else had a roommate, which wasn’t square one, because that was when I was blithely searching for a roommate without realizing that everyone already had one.

Okay. So, introduce character three.  This does not introduce a new section.  We’ll call this person, Roommate take 2.  Actually that’s really long.  We’ll call this person… Roommate 2.  So Roommate 2 is actually an incoming freshman.  But I wasn’t going to let the computer unassumingly pick someone like Roommate’s former roommate, who committed unnecessary sexual acts 25 hours a day.  Which somehow is oddly one more than seems humanly possible. I wanted the cream-o-the-crop freshman.  Having volunteered during Preview weekend, I knew just who that was, so I sadly set to work at getting this person to be my roommate.

The culmination of these two events has led me here… Two bad things that I did not want to believe would happen.

Therefore, I am ending this on this note.  Something I have to remind myself of, frequently, and is yet somehow so useless in this situation. My favorite author said in one of her novels this:

“It is what we most desire that we’re afraid to count on; it’s always so much easier to believe in an eventuality you’d rather avoid.”  – Curtis Sittenfeld.

And yet while I tried my damnedest to avoid believing in these things, this is where I’m at. A certain part of me is excited for next year, but a lot of me knows that it just won’t be quite the same.

Blah.

So here I am.  At this crossroads.

That’s not all that’s going on, but that’s what I’m writing about for now.

Issue #1 being the most pressing.  But certainly not my only worry.

We’ll see how well this sticks especially during finals.

Here goes.